Things you never wanted to know about me

[dar_jeeling]

I can't slice bread without massacring either the slice or the loaf.
No matter how carefully or how slowly I wield the knife, the slice comes out wonky--too thick, too thin, uneven or with a hole in the middle.

Secretly, I have the theory that my mother pissed off a witch when she was pregnant with me. "Just you wait," cackles the witch. Then she rubs her hand in malicious glee, does some more equally trite stuff, and puts the Curse of Fucked Up Slices of Bread on me. No?

Well, I like this explanation better than its alternative. Nobody wants to face the possibility that they're just too stupid to cut bread.


Totally unrelated to that, I've been wondering--which of Hewlett's movies is especially iconable? *off to search for caps*

Comments

[eretria.livejournal.com]

You know, for this particular problem, God gave some smart person the inspiration to create a bread-slicing-device. They're even quite reasonable, and you can enjoy your day looking at lovely, even slices. :o)

[dar-jeeling.livejournal.com]

But that would make life easier ;)
Btw, I haven't forgotten the thing you emailed me about, just in case you were wondering.

[eretria.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're right! Why make things easy when they can be complicated? (It's my life motto, I swear. Must be a capricorn thing.)
And I had only vaguely wondered, but figured you were busy. No worries.

[inthekeyofd.livejournal.com]

Secretly, I have the theory that my mother pissed off a witch when she was pregnant with me. "Just you wait," cackles the witch. Then she rubs her hand in malicious glee, does some more equally trite stuff, and puts the Curse of Fucked Up Slices of Bread on me. No?

LOL!!!!!

David Hewlett caps

[laceymcbain.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure if you're still looking for DH caps, but you should check out http://www.david-hewlett.co.uk/ if you're not familiar with it. *g*

Re: David Hewlett caps

[dar-jeeling.livejournal.com]

I'm familiar with it, but thanks anyway! :)