Things you never wanted to know about me

I can't slice bread without massacring either the slice or the loaf.
No matter how carefully or how slowly I wield the knife, the slice comes out wonky--too thick, too thin, uneven or with a hole in the middle.

Secretly, I have the theory that my mother pissed off a witch when she was pregnant with me. "Just you wait," cackles the witch. Then she rubs her hand in malicious glee, does some more equally trite stuff, and puts the Curse of Fucked Up Slices of Bread on me. No?

Well, I like this explanation better than its alternative. Nobody wants to face the possibility that they're just too stupid to cut bread.


Totally unrelated to that, I've been wondering--which of Hewlett's movies is especially iconable? *off to search for caps*